I really want to stay at your house

I just want to start off by saying that this song has absolutely changed my life for the better.

4:07

I cannot begin to describe how much love I have for this song and for the world where it comes from. Cyberpunk 2077 is an absolutely amazing game that I will totally talk about more in depth in another post because there is just so much to say. Continuing, this post is a bit more of my deeper appreciation to this song and why I think everyone should take a listen to it.

I first discovered it in junior year thanks to the anime: Cyberpunk Edgerunners. I did not watch it at first, I just came across the song and fell in love with the synth, the beats, the lyrics. I then decided to give the anime a shot, seeing so many people rave about how amazing it was (it did win Anime of the Year at Crunchyroll Anime Awards).

The anime, I'd say is not for everyone, but it definitely was something fun and different. It was such an introduction to the Cyberpunk world in all its depth and glory. I won't say too much about the anime, in case you might want to watch it. I'm not exactly the type of person to cry at endings and I didn't cry at this one compared to a lot of people but I will say it made me really sad.

Whenever I am bored or want to feel a wave of nostalgia, I'll open Netflix and replay episode 10, specifically the ending battle. I love hearing the beats of the song synchronize itself with the scene. It feels like the words are touching my skin and when that chorus hits, it feels like reality has slapped you in the face. That this is what it comes down to, a bittersweet ending.

When this song comes on, I don't exactly feel sad. I also feel happiness, nostalgia, euphoria??? I feel like getting up and dancing, jumping up and down, screaming the lyrics out loud, closing my eyes. Other times I feel like lying down on my bed, all sprawled out, and staring up at the ceiling letting the words stamp itself onto me.

I could never love a song more than this one. It's literally my all time favorite.

I feel like the chorus is so representative of something that is happening in the moment between you and this one person. I wouldn't say a friend, maybe someone closer to you. Lover perchance? ("You can't just say perchance") 

"What do you want to do? What's your point of view? There's a party, screw it, do you wanna go? A handshake with you, what's your point of view? I'm on top of you, I don't wanna go 'Cause I really want to stay at your house And I hope this all works out But you know how much you broke me apart I'm done with you, I'm ignoring you I don't wanna know"

That entire part is so beautiful and relatable and yet so sad. It's literally the definition of on and off, someone you can't truly let go of but there is so much love between you guys that you can't let each other go. And then you hit it off but then you realize the reason why it would never have worked.

It's so intimate and yet at the same time so sad. As I type this out, I can see the sadder parts. I think because I've listened to it for so long, it's become something much more than that for me. In a way, I can see it as two people falling in love, meeting each other for the first time, and just going on this daring adventure.

Just like David and Lucy.

I love the ending part of the song, the chorus has an extra-- I think its a synthwave beat?? Whatever it is, it makes the chorus just hit even harder (aka the whole premise of the song + ending of the anime).

Like this is it.

That at the end of the day it all comes down to this.

That no matter how good it was, you have to accept that you're done.

It is just so perfect in every way. It hurts so much and yet it feels like a relief at the same time.

I do hope you give it a listen.

This song isn't just a soundtrack for Cyberpunk, it's more than that. It's a soundtrack for how it feels to love, lose, and still want to go back just one more time.